The Stardust in the Ashes Read online

  Prologue

  CADEWYNN

  When I was ten years old, my good friend died overnight with no real explanation. At least, I think of her as my friend, even though she was a few years older than I was. Her name was Isabella Bramfield, and she was kind.

  Before her, I had no real concept of death. Her death snuck up on me like a quiet shadow and still haunts the corners of my mind.

  Now, I have a much more realistic expectation of death. My father, the King of Callenia, is dead. He was killed by a man I once thought my friend. Many loyal soldiers are also dead. Some I knew, others little more than strangers. My brother is alive, if you call his current state living. The shadows that haunted the corners of my thoughts after Isabella died consume his. He’s quickly becoming a ghost of his former self.

  Mother isn’t helping. I know she mourns our father, but she blames Ehren for his death. She’s far too stubborn to admit she’s wrong, and I hate her for it. She’s never exactly been a role model for me—which is dreadful to say about one’s mother—but I hope I can be better. Ehren defended our father, even after our father shunned him, leaving him no choice but to flee Callenia. I don’t want to speak ill of the dead, but a little piece of me feels my father deserved his fate. Though, if I could take some of Ehren’s pain from him and bear it myself, I gladly would.

  Now, I am on my way to Gleador. Ehren says it’s for my protection. If I am in Gleador under the protection of King Naimon, I may outlive this war. I wanted to protest when he told me, but he’s so broken I was afraid I would shatter what remains of his resolve. So here I am, off to Gleador with my mother. I have the protection of my brother’s Guard, Nyco, as well as Sama, a girl from the Hundan Valley.

  I’ve been stored away in my library for nearly as long as I can remember. Books can only take me so far, and I’m ready to do more. I may not be able to lift a sword in battle, but I can recruit those who can. Ehren sends me to Gleador to keep me safe, but I go with the intention of finding a way to win this war.

  Chapter One

  ASTRA

  A cold breeze wakes me from my dreams. I blink and look around the room enough to register that it’s morning, but I have no desire to rise from bed yet. I glance at Alak curled up beside me, my eyes falling to the jagged scar on his lower back. Several Healers have examined it, assuring us that whatever dark magic once lay there is long gone, but it still makes me uneasy. I force the fear away and burrow further under the covers, snuggling closer to his warm body.

  Alak sighs in his sleep and shifts closer, turning over. I take advantage of his new position to rest my head on his bare chest, the steady, calm thrum of his heart comforting and familiar. He shifts again, this time enough I can tell he’s waking. I press in closer and his arm tightens around me.

  “You awake, love?” he asks, his voice gravelly from sleep.

  “Mmm,” I mumble, grinning against his skin but not bothering to open my eyes.

  “Don’t you have a kingdom to help run?” he teases.

  “I need a few more minutes,” I whisper, draping my arm across his waist and slowly tracing my finger along the waistband of his pants.

  Alak inhales sharply and arches into my touch. I slide my finger just barely beneath the band and his breath catches. Warm desire surges down our bond.

  “Don’t start anything you don’t plan on finishing,” Alak purrs.

  “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” I reply with a grin.

  In a rapid flash of limbs and blankets, Alak wraps his arms around me, flipping me over. I squeal as I land on my back and grin up at him, his body braced above mine. There’s a mischievous glint in his emerald eyes—a glint that tells me clearly what he has in mind, even if I couldn’t sense his every intention through our bond. He, likewise, can sense my very positive reaction.

  “You know exactly what I mean,” he says, lowering his lips to mine.

  I bite my lip and meet his eyes as he pulls back. “I think you need to show me.”

  Alak’s eyes flash with desire as he grins. “Oh, I intend to.”

  Alak’s lips are almost to mine again when a loud huff from the floor of our room gives him pause. A second huff that sounds more like a growl has him flopping back to his side of the bed.

  “Seriously, Kai?” I yell, sitting up in bed to glare at the large gray wolf stretched across the rug at the foot of our bed. “I know you have your own room.”

  Kai opens one of his piercing gray eyes long enough to acknowledge me before closing it again. I collapse back on my pillow and turn to face Alak.

  “You know, lots of people do all sorts of things in front of their pets.”

  Alak’s rich laughter fills the room. “Aye, love, I’m sure they do, but those pets aren’t likely to be able to kill them in two forms.”

  A grunt from Kai on the floor indicates he agrees with Alak. I roll my eyes and push back the covers.

  “Fine. If we’re not going to do anything fun, I suppose I better get the day started.”

  I sit up, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed, and stretch. My bare feet hit the cold floor and I immediately jerk them back up. Using a touch of magic, I reach out my hand, palm down, and warm the floor. When I set my feet down again, they’re met with the perfect temperature.

  I plod across the room and throw open my wardrobe to choose from an array of dresses. When we had to flee Embervein, we didn’t have much. There were several servants and citizens we helped evacuate who didn’t have anywhere else to go. Many of those people accompanied us here, to the northern Summer Palace, to serve in whatever capacity they could. While I’m sure our castle is more understaffed than normal, we have a decent amount of help, including seamstresses, maids, and even Cook with her kitchen crew.

  I grab a simple dress and duck behind the changing screen in the corner of the room.

  “I don’t know why we have that stupid screen,” Alak mumbles. “I’ve seen everything already.”

  I laugh, but Kai’s throaty growl is reminder enough of why we have the screen. I pull off my nightdress, discarding it on the floor, and pull my dress over my head as someone knocks on the door. I peek around the edge of the screen and glance to Alak, who’s now sitting up.

  “Were you expecting anyone?” I mouth.

  He shakes his head and I shift my eyes to Kai. His head is raised, ears perked up on full alert with his eyes locked on the door. Obviously, he wasn’t expecting anyone either. A second knock follows, this time accompanied by a warm, familiar voice that makes me relax.

  “Astra, Alak, are you awake?”

  I duck back behind the screen and finish dressing as I call out, “Yes, Cal. You can come in.”

  The door creaks open, followed by the heavy sound of boots. Kai huffs, presumably lying back down. I straighten my hair and pop out from behind the screen.

  “Oh, there you are,” Cal says with a smile when his eyes find me.

  I return his smile but jump straight to the point. “Any change?”

  All brightness immediately fades from Cal’s face as he shakes head. “Not at all. He wouldn’t even let the servants enter this morning with breakfast. I don’t think he ate at all yesterday.” He glances quickly at Alak then back to me. “I don’t mean to interrupt your morning again. It’s just, well, you told me if he was still—”

  I cut him off with a wave and nod. “I know.”

  I close my eyes for a moment before walking to the nearest window, looking down at the sad, disarrayed castle grounds below. As much as I hate to admit it, they’re a perfect representation of the kingdom and the prince in charge.

  “I’ll do what I can.” I turn back and look at Cal. Worry etches every line of his face. “I promise.”

  Cal nods and licks his lips.

  “Anything else?” I ask, praying that there’s no news, given all recent news only seems to be bad.

  Cal shakes his head. “Nothing of note. Though, I only have the word from the night guards. I haven’t been to the ki
tchen yet.”

  “I’ll head down there and check in.”

  “Do you have to, love?” Alak whines from the bed. “It’s cold in the bed without you.”

  The tips of Cal’s ears redden slightly as he glances away. Kai lifts his head, stretches with a wolfy groan, and leaps into the bed, transforming into his human form in midair. Alak cries out, rolling to the edge of the bed. I burst out laughing as Kai tucks a hand behind his head, looking over at Alak with a grin.

  “There, problem solved,” I say as Alak frowns and mumbles, “This is not what I had in mind.”

  Cal laughs and shakes his head. “I guess you’ll be a bit more careful what you wish for in the future.”

  Alak rolls his eyes. “Only with Kai around.”

  Kai’s grin widens as he props himself up a bit more on the pillow to look over at me. “Let me know if you need help.”

  I nod. “I will. I suspect that unless there’s some unknown disaster waiting outside the castle gates, today will be more of the waiting game we’ve been playing for weeks now.” I glance back at Cal and add, “If I can get Ehren up, we’ll convene in the Meeting Hall after breakfast.”

  “And if you can’t?” Cal asks, his voice so quiet I barely catch his words.

  I meet his eyes and swallow. “I’ll find a way.”

  Cal holds my gaze for a beat before nodding once. “I’ll make sure everyone is ready.”

  “Thank you.”

  Cal gives us all one last parting nod before slipping out of the room. I take a moment to gather my thoughts before I pluck up my boots and sit down on the edge of the bed by Alak. His fingers trace lazy circles on my back as I lace my boots.

  “You know, love,” he says, his voice low, “it’s not your burden alone. You don’t have to be the one to fix everything.”

  I sigh. “I know.”

  “Do you?”

  I tie the last lace with a tug and twist to look down at Alak. He’s watching me in that careful way he does when he can tell I’m near breaking. I meet his eyes and nod.

  “I do. I know. I just . . .” I let my voice trail off as I glance away.

  “You just have to be true to your nature.”

  “Ehren was there for me when Kato abandoned me, and I don’t know what I would have done without him. He held me together.” Alak’s guilt spikes through the bond. I turn back to him quickly and place my hand on his. “You were there for me in a different way.”

  Alak looks away with a sigh but weaves his fingers with mine. “I know. I still hate that I wasn’t there for you those first few days.” He looks back up at me. “I know I did what I had to, what I felt was right in the moment, but . . .” He drops off with a sigh.

  “It was the right thing,” I insist, squeezing his hand. “You helped me in a way no one else could but—”

  “—you still need to be there for Ehren, to repay the favor,” Alak finishes for me.

  I look down at him and offer him a tight-lipped smile. “Yes. And because he’s one of my dearest friends and it’s my fault he’s—”

  “Hey,” Alak says sharply, sitting up. “None of that. You are not responsible for Kato’s actions.”

  “He’s right,” Kai jumps in. “None of this is your fault.”

  “Deep inside, I know that, but I still can’t help but feel a little responsible.” Before either of the men can argue with me again, I stand, pulling my hand from Alak’s to straighten my dress. “Either way, I have things to do.”

  “I love you, Astra,” Alak says as I approach the door.

  I turn to him and force a smile I know doesn’t go all the way to my eyes. “I love you, too.”

  Kai glances between us and rolls his eyes before flopping onto his side and pulling the covers over his head, jerking them off Alak in the process. Alak cries out, trying to yank them back and Kai responds with a growl halfway between human and wolf. With a smile, I leave the boys to fight over the bed, closing the door behind me.

  The halls are quiet—often too quiet. It looks like a palace, and we do our best to make it feel like a palace, but something is missing. It falls short in some way. Then again, maybe it’s not what’s missing but rather what’s here that shouldn’t be—the overhanging cloud of despair, depression, and looming demise.

  I round the corner and pause before a large ornate door. The royal chambers. I raise my hand to knock but can’t make myself complete the motion. So many mornings since our arrival I find myself outside this door. Some mornings I can get through a little, and others . . . My hand drops to my side as I sigh and shake my head.

  “Breakfast first,” I mutter under my breath before I turn and walk away. “It’ll be easier on a full stomach.”

  While the halls of this castle may feel like they’re filled with ghosts, the kitchen feels alive. When we first arrived, everyone seemed equally lost. We’d been on the road for weeks, dodging Dragkonian sentries and fighting to survive. The castle provided protection and a chance at living again, but in those weeks we’d all forgotten how to live. Cook fixed that. She gave the servants and refugees work to do and helped them find purpose. She gave the rest of us hope and established a routine we could work with. Most importantly, she established relations with the nearby village of Oxwatch.

  “What news?” I ask, sliding onto a kitchen stool amidst the flurry of early morning activity.

  “Well,” Cook replies, punching down a loaf of bread, “I hear tell there’s to be wedding of a village girl today. The whole town’s a-twitter about it. It seems to be quite the affair.”

  She plops the bread in a bowl to rise before turning away to scoop a large spoonful of eggs onto a plate. “It also seems that one of the women of the town gave birth last night to a little boy. He’s good and healthy.” She adds a couple pieces of crispy bacon to the plate and sets it down in front of me. “And Old Man Jenkins swears it will rain today.”

  I grin and take a bite of my eggs. “Nothing magical then?”

  Cook shakes her head. “Nary a whisper.”

  I breathe a sigh of relief and sink into my breakfast. Cook knows I can’t eat until I know what’s happening in the local village. The castle is protected by a fairly strong protective charm, meaning people can’t just come and go with news without being invited or guided into the castle by those given admittance. The downside to this arrangement is that no news drifts in on its own, so we rely heavily on the news Cook and the other servants receive from the village as they do their daily business.

  Cook slides a cup of coffee in front of me. I thank her and take a sip as she smiles, watching me for a moment before turning back to her work. I quickly down my breakfast and coffee. When I stand, fresh determination swells in me. I know what I have to do. I ask Cook for one more cup of coffee. She arches an eyebrow but complies without question. Before I can hesitate a moment longer, I sweep through the halls, coffee in hand, back to the royal chambers. I take a deep breath before knocking. There’s no answer, which isn’t unexpected. I knock again, harder this time.

  “Go away,” a hoarse voice calls back. “I don’t need anything.”

  I swallow, steeling myself before placing my hand on the doorknob and turning it slowly, afraid it’s locked. I release a sigh of relief when the door pushes open. When I step into the room, my heart sinks. All the curtains are drawn, drowning the room in stale darkness.

  “I said I don’t need anything,” a voice mumbles from the bed.

  “Fine,” I reply with a shrug as I close the door. “I guess I’ll drink this coffee on my own.”

  The blankets on the bed shift as Ehren sits up, his eyes finding me. My heart breaks looking at him. He’s a whisper of his normal self, unkempt and unshaven. He hasn’t changed or left his room—likely his bed—in days. Even as he takes me in, there is no life in his eyes. He’s broken and drowning.

  I force a smile and approach his bed, holding the coffee out to him. “Do you want it?”

  Ehren eyes the mug for a moment before shaking h
is head and glancing away. “No.”

  My heart aches as I set the mug on his bedside table. Ehren lies back down, turning his back to me as I fight tears.

  “I think it’s time.”

  Ehren doesn’t even turn to me as he says, “It was time two weeks ago. I can’t do this, Astra. I just . . . I can’t let everyone down again.”

  I swallow and close my eyes for a moment. I step forward and slide onto the bed behind Ehren, wrapping my arms around him. He tenses under my touch, relaxing a second later. I press my forehead against the back of his neck. He slides his hands up and places them over my arms, linking his fingers with mine.

  “I want to, Ash,” he says after a moment, his voice catching. “I want to get up. I want to help. I simply can’t find it in me to do it. I don’t want to fail everyone again. The pressure is too much.”

  “You only fail when you fail to keep trying. You haven’t failed anyone, Ehren.”

  “Tell that to my father,” Ehren says, his voice barely audible. “Tell that to my mother. Tell that to M-Makin.”

  His voice breaks on the last name, a small sob escaping his lips. I squeeze him tighter.

  “There are thousands of people out there who still believe that you haven’t failed. Though, if Makin were here, he’d be the first to tell you that you didn’t fail him.”

  “How do I go forward?” he asks through tears.

  “I’m glad you asked, because I have a plan.”

  He shifts, turning his head so he can see me out of the corner of his eye. I offer a weak smile.

  “A plan?”

  “Yes. First, we are going to lie here for ten minutes and wallow in our miserable failure. We’ll pity ourselves and wonder what else we could have done to save lives. We’ll consider every way we’ve let down our friends and screwed up.”

  “And then?”

  “And then,” I say, the corner of my mouth turning up into a half-smile, “we get up and try again.”